Today I was teaching my younger sister volleyball. She played last year, but she quit. She felt as if she wasn't good enough. "I'm not an athletic person, Anna," she told me. I reassured her that no one is born an athlete; they work towards it. But she didn't listen. She just quit. She doesn't have a great role-model though. I quit too much.

I quit piano. I regret it so much. I wish I were one of those people who can just sit down at a piano and have her fingers fly across the keys and some magically beautiful melody will come from the piano. But I quit. It takes much effort to get one song down and even harder effort to get it memorized.

I quit ballet. I quit reading "Gone With the Wind." I quit planting a garden last summer. I quit trying on a lot of things. I'm a quitter. I don't quit everything I start, but I do quit most things.

Quitting is also called giving up. I'm giving up on him. Screw it. I'm done trying. At some point, it's healthy to give up and now's my time. I'm done.

"Driving away from the wreck of the day, and I'm thinking 'bout calling on Jesus,
'Cuz love doesnt hurt, so I know I'm not falling in love, I'm just falling to pieces. And if this is giving up, then I'm giving up, giving up. If this is giving up, then I'm giving up, giving up on love, on love."



How can you envy what doesn't feel?

I envy the leaves on the trees when it's windy.
They dance and they look happy.
They look like what I want to feel.

I envy the clouds.
So peaceful in the sky.
Peaceful like I will never be.

I envy the trees.
So powerful, tall, awed.
Whereas I feel small, helpless, a laughingstock.

I envy my bed.
So easily it comforts me.
It's hard to comfort myself when I hurt.

I envy her.
She doesn't give a second thought to those around her.
She doesn't feel what she puts others through.
Yet she gets him.
He fell under her spell, and now he is senseless too.

That is how I envy what doesn't feel.

This is a poem I wrote in 5-ish minutes. Poetry is a key tool for me because it allows me to sum up all of my feelings with just a few words. With no rhyme scheme, or meter, this is clearly free-verse. Free verse are my favorite types of poems because anything can be said through them using strong descriptors and emotion. Plus, they allow me to let out my emotions and relax just a bit.