1.31.2010

2 Seconds

Last evening, at about 6:30, I was in a car accident. It was my fault. I feel like crap both emotionally and physically. No one was injured, and the car is still drivable, but it doesn't look so hunky-dory. I think this is a good and bad thing. Here's why:

Good:
  • I can now be an advocate against distracted driving from a first-hand experience.
  • I've dealt with the consequences and now I know that there's a lot in the world I can deal with.
  • I do not lose my license. *phew*
  • My sister won't be sitting in the front seat for a really long while.... she learned her lesson the hard way.
  • This experience will actually make me a better driver. That's never a bad thing.
  • It makes for a great story, and maybe I'll over-exaggerate a little, just to sound more tough/hard-core.

Bad:

  • I am in immense pain. Nothing's broken, but a lot is bruised. My neck hurts from the whiplash, my back from only God knows what, my thigh from hitting the wheel, my chest from the airbag, my elbow from hitting the window... et cetera, et cetera....
  • I have no car to drive until we either get this one repaired (unlikely) or get a new one.
  • I'm going to have to deal with people's questions. 'Nuff said.
  • I might get a ticket for distracted driving. Super.
  • The recurring image of the accident is not a fun one. I'm never EVER going to forget this.

I have great friends. The news spreads fast, and I keep getting texts saying "OMG! ARE YOU OKAY?!" and I just reply, "Yeah. I'm fine. No one was hurt. It's still kinda tough to talk about, so I'll tell you more later."

That's what I'm going to say here. It is still hard to talk about. It's going to be a while before I look back on this and just say, "Huh. Oh Well. It happened." I do hear that everyone will be involved in an accident at least once in their lifetime. I've had my experience with it, and I hope this is the only one, and I'm eternally grateful that there were zero injuries. I owe God a lot of prayers tonight and for the rest of my life. He's the bomb. ;)

God, You ROCK!! and I apologize for cussing....a car accident isn't exactly a situation for "Darn it!" or "Shucks!" Sorry.

Readers, don't drive distracted. It took two seconds of not looking at the road to change everything. You may think that you can text while driving as long as your peripheral is okay... You can't. Sorry. That's the truth. Don't do it. I'm trying to let you learn the easy way rather than the hard way like I did. (I wasn't texting, by the way.)

God Bless and Good Luck!

Drive Safe.

1.29.2010

Snow Day!

So... let's see. My posts go from Superpower to Ramble to Showtunes and Chocolate to Homework and now to Snow Day. I'm a very random writer, but I have a lot on my mind. I'm letting you, reader, into my world. You are priveleged.

This morning, I woke up at 6:00 expecting to go through the same routine. I went downstairs, sat on the couch, and watched the news. I don't normally watch, but it's been snowing here in South Central Kansas, and I'd heard rumors that today might be a snow day. So I'm sitting on the couch next to my mom. I doze off a couple times, and then I hear my mom say, "Ope. There it is. 'Wichita Catholic Schools..... Cancelled'." I should've been really happy. But I wasn't. I went back to bed and wondered how I could be resentful that we didn't have school. What is going on with me?

Is it because without school I'd have to spend the whole day around my two annoying little sisters? Is it because without school I wouldn't get to see my friends? It is because I wouldn't have anything to do all day? Is it because I wouldn't get to see the guy I like? (Cheesy, I know, but I think just seeing his face every day makes me happy.) I should be happy! I don't get more homework! I've got a whole day to lay around! I don't have to think about anything today!!

Snow days are great. We rarely ever get them. It's still snowing as I'm typing. It's snowing pretty hard too. The snow looks nice, but then I realize that in a few days, it's going to look disgusting. It will turn brown and lumpy on the side of the road, my sister's footprints will have marked it all up, and I won't like it anymore.

Nevertheless, I've heard that good things always happen when it snows. What good thing will happen today? It must be an unbelieveably good thing, because it is snowing hard! We've already got 4+ inches and it's still going.... if nothing good happens, then I'm just going to have to wait for the next good snow....

I'll be here. Waiting. Hoping. I've got lots of expectations and hopes. Maybe today is the day that some of them will become realities. But no worries--I've still got fourteen hours for something to happen....


"No comment."~~Thousands of celebrities and politicians throughout the history of the Media.

1.26.2010

HomeWHAT?!

Homework. That one (compound) word sends all of teen America into instant depression and cynicism. I know, teachers, that you have to assign it so that we learn what's being taught in class, but really? What's with this overload? I hope you realize that most of us students have 6 or 7 other teachers who also assign homework. And we have personal lives. Home lives. Work Lives. Our worlds cannot revolve around the existence of homework.

Some homework I'm not completely opposed to. As you can probably tell by simply reading this blog, I enjoy creative writing. When I'm assigned an essay that deals with my opinion or making something up off the top of my head, I'll dive into it like fish into water! But when I'm assigned something horribly extensive ("Read 100 pages of this brain-numbing novel by tomorrow" or "Do numbers 1-45 in the book and don't forget to graph every problem!") I want to curl up and die.

That's an over-exaggeration. I don't want to die. I do, however, want the assignment to go far, far away. It's too bad that "My dog ate my homework" has been deemed an inexcusable excuse, otherwise, my dog would get a delicious meal of Anna's personal suffering every night. We'd both be satisfied.

Also, just curious... teachers, do you really enjoy grading these things? If you don't, then why do you give us so much? The more work we get, the more work you get. It's that simple. Make both our lives easier, and just give us less. I'd love to eliminate the entire "homework" concept completely, but that's unreasonable. Don't you agree? Even if it's just deep, down inside? Maybe not. Maybe I'm an over-achiever. Oh well.... I've got my sights set on going to Notre Dame. I'll do whatever I have to in order to get there or at least get accepted.

I love that I'm sitting here ranting about homework and there's a pile of it sitting right next to me. Literally. I should probably get started on that.... and, reader, if you've got homework to do, go do it. Procrastination doesn't have many benefits. No long-lasting benefits at least.

"I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework." ~~Lily Tomlin

1.24.2010

Showtunes and Chocolate

Showtunes and chocolate are the perfect cure for the "I'm-so-confused-about-this-guy" funk. If you don't like showtunes, pick your favorite kind of music that's really great to belt out to. I like Chicago.

"Cell Block Tango" is the perfect song for the time when you're thinking: "He's stupid. I don't know why I like/liked him, and he deserves whatever bad things are coming to him."

"Funny Honey" is great for this: "I'm so head-over-heels for him, and he's fantastic! .... wait a mintue.... he just betrayed me. Crap."

Another great Musical to listen to is Wicked.

"I'm Not That Girl" is self-explanatory. Give it a listen, and you'll completely understand.


....Basically all I'm getting at is that most Musicals have at least one great song that you can really relate to. Also, I could talk forever about chocolate. It is a God-send! It also releases endorphins (those little hormones that make you happy). It's a good alternative to cutting, because they do the same thing, but chocolate doesn't damage you physically. :)

Also, I thought you might find this interesting: I caught myself laughing in my sleep last night. I don't remember what was funny enough in my dream to make me laugh, but I was obviously laughing hard enough for it to wake me up. And (ready for a bad pun?) I don't think I can wake up on the wrong side of the bed because my bed is in the corner: there's only one side to wake up on. haha. I'm so funny! *laugh laugh giggle giggle*

I'm in a good mood today. With the way my week shaped out, I would honestly expect myself to be in a crappy mood, but I'm not. I have prayer, confidence, good music, chocolate, my "glass-half-full" attitude, and ESPECIALLY my awesome friends to thank for that. I couldn't have more support! Thank you! I would name names, but I don't know if they're comfortable with that and I don't want to forget to mention anyone, so I'm going to leave this very general.

The following quote explains exactly what has gone on this week with me. I know now just who cared about me enough to break those walls and help me realize all the good in my life. I can't say thank you enough to those friends. You know who you are. ;)


"Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down."~~Anonymous

1.23.2010

Ramble

I don't know what I want. But, really, who does? There are so many things going on in my life right now and I'm becoming over-whelmed. I'm going to talk about a few scenarios that are confusing me. Feel free to give your input.

It's been close to a week since I asked a certain guy to my school's Sadie Hawkins. I got a no for an answer, but, believe me, it's much more complicated than that. We started talking. A lot. What does that mean? He's texting me the day after he turned me down... does that mean he likes me, or is he just being nice? It started dying down. We decided to keep the situation on the down low, just between the two of us. We didn't want school to be awkward and I was confident that it wouldn't be. I was wrong. It's pretty awkward. When we make eye contact, it's for a second. Maybe not even that. A couple of my friends say that they really think he likes me, but I'm not so sure about that. I want to talk to him about all this, but I can't be too forward about any of it. It's driving me crazy.

It's time to fill out our schedules for next year. Super. More decisions! I've got pretty much everything sorted out, except for one, little thing. This year I'm in Women's Ensemble. It's a fun class, but it isn't something that I get really excited about. Same with Photography--I really like taking pictures, but I don't think I'm going to stick with it next year. If I tell my mom that I don't want to be in Women's Ensemble, she'll probably give me the, "Anna, I'm so disappointed. I really enjoy listening to your singing, and seeing you perform," look/talk. I don't want to hear that. But I don't think I want to stay in that class. What do I do?! And I don't know what class I'd take in its place. I've got some thinking to do.

Now I'm going to ramble. I've got a lot on my mind that I just have to talk about. I don't care if no one's listening. I just have to say it outloud. I also know that since, if anyone is reading this, it's on a computer screen, and they can't actually hear me, but this is good enough for me.

Dane Cook is probably the best comedian I've ever heard. Yes, he's vulgar and profane, but he speaks the truth! Who says, "Uh... I'm atheist," to "God Bless you" after a sneeze?! REALLY?! I would have to say that one of my favorite of his routines is "We're all gonna cry...". It's so funny because it's so true! Lately I've been feeling that need to really cry more often than usual. I space out in class, I feel like everyone is relying on me for something, and I really just want to be left alone. I don't get the "stobe-like asthmatic pre-cry breaths" though. I just start to tear up, and realize, "Alright. Now. Lock the door, turn up the music. Don't let anyone know." And I cry.

After I cry, I feel really good. I want to go hit some golf balls at the course, run around the block, go to the mall, or hang out with my friends. It feels amazing. And then I remember that crying didn't make my problems go away, and I have to try really hard to hold everything together again.

I'm sorry to whoever's reading this. You have to hear my petty complaints. Take something out of this though. If this ever happens to you, just know that you're not alone. I know how you feel. Thank you for reading, and have a good, tearless day. :)

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often
we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been
opened for us." ~~Helen Keller

1.22.2010

Superpower!!

I've heard a million and one people tell me to "life life without regrets". Not only is that just short of impossible to do, but also, I find no purpose to it. Regrets can also be called mistakes. We do stuff we shouldn't have. We look back and feel that knot of guilt in our stomach. I am a firm believer in the fact that all humans--excuse me-- most humans learn from their mistakes. If we live life without regrets, we'll keep making the same mistakes over and over again. But sometimes there are things that we must face without regrets, no matter what our gut may tell us to do.

I'm almost positive that if I could choose any superpower, I would choose the power to read minds. There are only a few conditions to this mind-reading power though: 1) I could only read minds when it would help me acheive a goal, fix a problem, or find happiness; 2) I could decide who's mind I wanted to read. (We all have those people in our lives who's thought process we don't want to know about.); and 3) I would be able to accept every little thing anyone thought whether it was good or bad; whether I wanted to know it or not. I'm sure you're wondering why I would read minds? Why not fly or be able to become invisible? I would want to read minds because it would make my life so much easier. I would be more at ease, more at peace. I would be able to be more comfortable around certain people and maybe they'd be able to be more comfortable around me. **Note: They would have no knowledge of my telekinesis.


Think about it this way: If I could read minds, I could


  • Decide who my real friends are

  • Find out who really enjoys my company and who just acts like it

  • Realize my flaws and maybe work on fixing some of them

  • Embrace my identity

  • Live life to its fullest

  • Enjoy life with its regrets and learn from my mistakes more easily

There are so many things I could do with that power. I would try to avoid abusing the power, because abused telekinesis would be like stalking someone... all the time. No matter where you or they are. It'd be pretty creepy.


I know I'm never going to be able to mind read, but that's probably for the better. Without that power, I can sit in anxiety, be disappointed, or get hurt; but I can also anticipate, be surprised, and enjoy every little moment for everything it is.


"Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight." ~~Benjamin Franklin