Paint

I'm getting ready to paint my room. A new color. A new attitude. Old Hollywood theme: Tan walls, deep red accents, with a nice touch of black and white here and there. I think it'll look pretty good. Sometimes I wish I could paint over certain parts of my life--cover them up so I never have to see them again. The car accident. The rejection. The heartache.

There's only one problem: when you cover up or shut out bad things, you lose some good. If I block out the car accident, I forget how bad it was and why I'm never going to let it happen again. If I block out the rejection, I forget how much fun I had with my friends that night (without alcohol, drugs, or partying, I might add), and how I was able to put myself outside of my comfort zone and take a risk. If I block out the heartache, I shrink, weaken, lose everything I gained by surviving the pain.

It's a win-lose situation.

I want so badly to be friends with him. We could be the great friends who go golfing together. Who make fun of the idiots at school. (I know, I know. So mean of me. Deal with it.) Who just hang out and have funny, interesting moments together. This is all probably sounding a bit cheesey, which just goes to show that I watch way too many teen-flick movies. I'm exhausted though! I either want him to say that we have no chance at a friendship or want him to just let us be friends. It's not like we actually dated or anything! Why is this so hard?!

Let's not be depressing anymore!! Smile time!

When I say this, know that I am not joking. I have just sat in the same spot for 15 minutes trying to think of something else to say, but I got nothing. So, on that note, I hope you have a good day full of smiles and uplifting things.